excited me is excited.

really cant wait for this *giggles* i got the premium ticket one since the vip had been sold out in only minutes; not to mention that i had no money to buy the vip ticket. so, yeah... lol

dan rajakarcis ini gembel pisannnn. konser masih bulan mei tapi po sudah dibuka akhir januari *smh* tanggal segitu kan lagi bokek2nya, untung sempat diselametin sama si cyenz untuk booking tiket haha

well, well, hyde-baby! see you soon! mwaaaa <3

another dream..

seeing him in my dream again last night reminds me of why i dont need the complications of love could bring in my life and why is it better to just write or even forget about it. its just so easy being single, really. there would be less pain that way and my heart would be safe. mom told me to just step out of my little-forever-miserable world and stop protecting my heart from breaking, because it was 2 years bla bla already since i last had any bf. and being a good daughter i am, ofcourse i refused to do so. *what?*

im sorry, mom. i know girls my age are having such a fine boyfriend to married soon. and you cant help but thinking about me who unfortunately still cant get rid of her fear. yeah, poor me. sorry, mom. i really am sorry. i swear to god i'll bring home a very nice and handsome and rich and hot guy to be your son-in-low. but before that could happen you just need to let me go to seoul and proposed u-know yunho of TVXQ to be my husband lol *get shot*

loves a bitch. relationship is suck. being single is well, pathetic but hey, i could enjoy myself more without anyone introgated me cause im wandering around and have fun without me telling them. booo thats so lame haha.

anyway, i just got a new tumblr since the old one got hacked, here *laughs* and i just posted a zero/shiki fic on my journal clicky its a boys love aka gay story, just save yourselves if youre homophobic :p

errrrr...

gembel kowe, massss! sok kecakepan amat disitu! bikin ga to the lau aje. ugh! ugh! tapi aku tresno T^T mana kudu nyisihin duit pula buat nonton x japan kalo2 mereka jadi konser dimari ntar november :( :( :( seneng sih emang, tapi kalo berturut-turut begini mah bangkrut gw lama2. dikira banyak duit apa, kere begini *plak* T^T cintaku pada fandom berat di dompet ohhh *terjun ke empang lele*
ps: and just why am i looping MJ's billie jean on my playlist tonight? lol. ah, tumblr is being an ass. i cant log in :( it keep telling me my email/password is incorrect, wth?!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REITA!



























i love you, noseless-man hahah. youre such a hero for me :) you have such an amazing personality and so much talent, and i just hope that you have the best day ever <3



we did it! HappyBDayREITA's on #5 world wide TT ahahah, even indonesia has 2 trends, HappyBDayReita and Reita lol. WE ROCK!

credit: fuckyeakitkats, hanakohikari, kuroballerina @ tumblr

trauma.

”It doesn’t matter how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives. Trauma messes everybody up, but maybe thats the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap…maybe going through all that is what keeps us moving forward. It’s what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up.”
— Alex Karev, Grey’s Anatomy

And i aint moving forward, im stuck on the spot instead. my mom knew, she know now the reason why i havent been in any relationship after a year of broken up. yes, im trauma. thats the matter. im scared of relationship, like seriously. im tired with people nagging and asking me about finding a new boyfriend or something along that line. i dont wanna :( im happy now, i love being alone. i can breath, i can fly, i can do whatever i wanna with whoever it is to anywhere whenever i can. period.

and i felt like crying when i saw my moms sad face, when she figured this out. its hurts me like billion times as i know its me who make her sad. and thats not even my fault, ive never choosed to be in this traumatic kind of condition. my friends told me to just get over it, and tried to date someone. but how could i do that when everytime i think about relationship, memories about him control me, asked me to do this and that against my will always showed up like a freaking ugly movie. how can i?

its not an easy job to do after almost 3 years being in control with no one but your fucking ex boyfriend. and that little slaps, and the oh so often snapped, and all of his no-make-sense jealousy. he'd better wished to never meet me ever again! because if we ever meet once again, i'll make sure to beat the shit out of him rightaway. krik krik krik. not really lol. i dont have a grudge on him. karma does exist anyway, so why bother to make him pay. its useless. hahahah arent i nice?

anywho, ive got a new theme for my tumblr, http://vampelody.tumblr.com <333 ahhh im gonna make a fic for Reitas birthday on May 27th. its a supernatural, angsty, AU story (yeah, yeah shots me for making an angsty fic for his birthday, i deserved it *cries*) never tried to write something with supernatural theme before so, wish me luck! there would be characters death as well :D:D:D hope i could finished it on time <3 gaaah if only i have someone betaed my fic, im too lazy to checking all those grammar by myself and there's still some mistakes in it. how sad lol


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